The one in which Victor Von Doom has regrets
by serialkiller13
Summary: So this is just a funny one-shot story i had in my head, Victor Von Doom, Loki, and Norman Osborne are in this, rate T for swearing.


**Ok so have you seen parle production videos, well, I got this idea from one of them, enjoy.**

***o*O*o***

"Um…Norman?" Doom said.

"What Victor?" Norman said typing on his laptop.

"Remember how I said I don't regret things,"

"Yes,"

"Well, I did something I regret,"

Norman turns around and said "Oh my god!"

Doom had impressively large ears on his head, Norman closed his laptop and stood in front of Doom and said "Wow, ok um… how did this happen?"

"I really don't want to talk about it," Doom said.

"No, I'd like to know the catalyst of events that led up to this," Norman said.

"Well, I was in my lab trying to…enhance certain part of my anatomy…" Doom said and Norman cut him off.

"Yeah, I get the picture," Norman said putting his head in his hands "Will they fit in your armor?"

"I haven't tried to and I really don't want to…squish them." Doom said.

"Ok, so let's find a way to get these off," Norman said "Preferably before Loki finds out."

"Please," Doom said.

"Ok, to my lab," Norman said walking away.

"You have a lab in my house?" Doom said following him.

*o*O*o*

"Ok, so on the count of 3…" Norman said.

"Ok, Norman,"

"Yeah,"

"I will admit we have done some crazy shit in our lives, but none of them involved you standing over me with a large kitchen knife, not a scalpel, a knife."

"Yeah, well…1"

"I'm uncomfortable now,"

"…2…"

"I really don't think this is a good idea,"

"3!"

And the knife went down.

"Oh Jesus fucking Christ, you did it, you actually did it!"

"Um, Victor…."

"Wait Norman why am I bleeding?"

"Oh god that is a lot of blood,"

"Norman?"

"Yeah um…I'm going to get the first aid kit."

"Norman I feel dizzy."

"Um… Victor you might want to lie down."

"Oh god," and Doom faints from the lack of blood.

*o*O*o*

"Hey Victor buddy how do you feel?"

Doom glared at him and said "Like some son of bitch cut my ear off with a knife."

"Yeah, sorry about that but we may have a slight problem,"

"Nothing can be worst that this,"

Norman held up the ear he chopped off and Doom said "Great, where's the other one?"

Norman shook his head and pointed to Doom, Doom lifted his hand up to feel that the other ear was still on his face.

"What the fuck dude! You didn't take the other one off!"

"Well, you were bleeding,"

"Why didn't you just chop it off when I was pasted out!"

"…I did not think of that."

"Really you're a scientist dude!"

"Well, let's go to plan B."

"Good, if it's better than plan A, then why the hell didn't we do Plan B first."

"Ok, to the lab."

"By lab do you mean my kitchen, where the knife is."

*o*O*o*

"Ok, so Victor there is no plan B."

"Please put the ear down, when you're waving it my face it's just creepy."

"Yeah, well why do you gamma radiate it off in the microwave."

"That would be a good idea if it was a microwave, because it uses microwaves, not gamma waves."

"Oh I have been meaning to tell you, I might have altered the microwave to make gamma waves instead off micro… so yeah."

Doom's eyes widen and he said "Norman people have been cooking food in that."

"Yeah…"

"Wait is that why the servants have been glowing a little."

"Yep,"

"Ok, I'm not sticking my head in there,"

"Well I could yank of the ear,"

"I'm not comfortable with that…"

Then Norman yanks off the ear,

"Fucking bastard I said no!"

"Oh, well I got the other one off,"

"Oh god,"

Then Doom collapses on the floor.

"Oh god Victor, oh god your boyfriend's going to kill me, just stand there, you know what you're pasted out, I'm just…yeah."

*o*O*o*

Norman was wrapping the ears in bandages, and Doom had his normal ears back…

"See Victor they're both off,"

"Why are you wrapping them up are you going to keep them, or what?"

Then Norman started snapping his fingers around Doom's ear but he didn't hear it.

"Victor?"

"Stop waving your hand in my face dude,"

"Ok Victor I'm snapping, Victor!"

"Why aren't you answering me, what did you do,"

Doom reached up and felt his ears,

"My ears are fine,"

Norman just shook his head and called out in a whiny voice "Loki!"

"Are we play the let's not talk to Victor game again because that was really boring."

*o*O*o*

Loki was just read why Norman and Doom came in to his room, Loki sighed and said 'What did you two do this time?"

Norman explains everything.

"And I think your boyfriends deaf now."

"You made Victor deaf," Loki deadpanned.

"It was an accident," Norman said.

Loki sighed and walked up to his boyfriend and screamed bloody murder, Norman had to cover his ears.

"What was that for!?" Norman exclaimed.

"To see how deaf he is," Loki said, then mutters some spell and said "Victor can you hear me?"

"Of course I can hear you," Victor said.

"Yeah, long story short you were deaf for 10 minutes, and I screamed bloody murder," Loki said.

"You did?" Doom said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, so… I'm going to go…." Norman said walking out of the room "And I need to find my sound cancelling headphones."

*o*O*o*

**Yep that was the one-shot review please.**

**Luv,**

**Seriakiller13**


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